Broken Beauty
by littlemisslovelygood
Summary: Belle's take on her time with Rumple and her life


**Disclaimer: i do not own "Once Upon a Time"**

I'm not mad… just heartbroken.

They used to call me beautiful…as a result of my looks they had me stripped of my life and forced me into an engagement with a man I could never love. That is the role of a princess I suppose—dreams shattered, empty voids filling up in your chest as a price that you have to pay for being wealthy and attractive.

Our kingdom needed help, and I had always dreamed of adventure. When _he _came and offered his services to defend our land in exchange for me, who was I to refuse? I wanted out, here was my ride. Of course I don't think the deal would have been the same if I didn't look as I did—if I perhaps had tan skin as opposed to my fair complexion, or ash blonde hair instead of the chocolate brown locks I do possess…I wonder if that would change anything. Take away the beauty I've been praised for and who am I? Who would want me? My large, brown eyes, matching curls, milky skin and high cheekbones were a curse as well as a gift.

All my life I've been a decoration, a bag, if you will, to be slung over the next prince's strong arms and made to do nothing but cook and clean. I suppose I'm a better deal than a bag—you have to pay for one of those, but I'd come with a heft dowry from my father. Why not make money off me too? I would serve no other purpose than to be shown off by the prince and compared to every other lady on a mans arm.

But when _he _came and took me away, all I could think of was getting out. Going to see the world and finally be free of he palace walls. He took me to his home-a lush, empty mansion-and I realized I still wasn't free. I figured then that my price for beauty was imprisonment.

Time wore on; I cooked and cleaned and stayed inside like I was instructed while _he _did…whatever it is that he would do. I never learned…

But what I did learn was that he once had a family. I wish I knew what happened to them. His has been called a coward…that's why he wanted to help our kingdom fight its war—he wanted to prove he wasn't.

Time wore on slowly and I found myself loving this man. My captor…what was I thinking? I couldn't love him, I _shouldn't _love him…but I did. He was kind and witty and caring, smart and just...charming when you got beneath the monstrous and cold surface. And he loved me too, I thought. Perhaps I was deluding myself or he was fooling me, but I thought he returned my feelings.

There was something…evil about him, however. Something…that wasn't quite right. He was magical and wicked; everyone knew that. Was it an effect of his abilities that caused something to just be off about him? Or was it something else entirely?

If I knew anything about curses, it's that they can be broken with true love's kiss. How fitting.

He told me to go to town and get some straw for him. He knew I wasn't going to come back, and I did consider running off. But I couldn't bring myself to leave him.

I returned with his straw and he was noticeably surprised and happy with my return. That's when I thought I'd try it…

I kissed him.

He began to change—his features becoming less cruel and mangled, and there was a certain glow that had begun to radiate off him…but then he grew angry, and the process stopped. He shouted that no one could love him—it wasn't possible. He accused me of trying to rid him of his powers. Why would I? His rage blinded him. Couldn't he see that if it was working, it had to be true love's kiss? True love meant that I had to love him too.

He ordered me to leave his home and never return. I could see it in his eyes; he didn't want me to leave, and yet he forced me out. I had overstayed my welcome and it was time for me to go.

I went home, hoping to be welcomed back with open arms. However that was not the case. They shunned me, shut me out and closed me in. Because of my relationship with _him_, no man would want me. They all claimed I was tainted by his magic. They treated me like filth, like I was nothing. The beauty they had all admired me for had been warped in their minds. I couldn't be beautiful or normal and healthy after being with _him_ for so long. Not even the man I was once to marry wanted me anymore...the engagement had ended the moment I left-they thought they would never see me again. And now that he did he didn't want me back.

My father ordered me to be placed in a tower with Fligyns to purify my soul and rid it of its contamination. At last I couldn't take it any longer—I tried to jump. Unfortunately there was a shield around the tower and there was no way for me to leave.

My father realized I had tried to escape or die and he threw me in this asylum, claiming I was mad and impure. He asked me who could ever love a beast, and with that he imprisoned me once more in this cell.

I thought my price for beauty was my freedom…I was wrong; it was my sanity.

Father was right- who could ever want a broken beauty?


End file.
